Hajar
Liner notes
Oh, this one's FUN! Another short shelf-life song, it was inspired by an incredible story from lower-league women's tennis. Egyptian 21-year-old Hajar Abdelkadar gained a wild-card entry into a tournament in Nairobi despite apparently never having seen a tennis match before. She was predictably defeated 6-0 6-0 by Lorena Schaedel, ranked just outside the world's top 1,000, picking up three points on the way: two double faults and an unforced error. I was about to write a mocking song, but then I remembered I have a rule about not punching down, and poor Hajar is probably the only person who's ever played in a tennis tournament who's worse than me. There's something quite heroic about putting yourself in that situation, don't you think? I think I borrowed the punchline from a fanzine -- someone was complaining about having nothing to do over the summer break in football and not knowing a glof pole from a hockey racket. That's a joke I've had on hand for maybe 35 years, and I still have to cite the source.Hajar's had a bad day at the office
Couldn't seem to catch a break at all
Maybe she believed she had some aces up her sleeve
But Hajar wasn't ever on the ball
We've all had days like Hajar's
And wished the ground would swallow us up whole
Days that give no quarter, we're like fish out of the water
We don't know a hockey paddle from a tennis pole
Hajar, whoa, Hajar, whoa
We don't know a hockey paddle from a tennis pole
Hajar had her dreams of grand slam glory
Torn to tatters, brutally
We could be unkind, if we were so inclined
But she's won more points on tour than you or me
We've all had days like Hajar's
And wished the ground would swallow us up whole
Days that give no quarter, we're lambs to the slaughter
And we don't know a skiing scrum from a tennis goal
Hajar, whoa, Hajar, whoa
We don't know a skiing scrum from a tennis goal